Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
