im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize