There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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