Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just had sex bonerless
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we're so committed to being not committed
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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