I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
