ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
