u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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