yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
