I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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