Sponge bath it is.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
