I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
