how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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