I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
