I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
