Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
