it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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