I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
