i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
