His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
