Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
