I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sarcasm needs its own font
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
