i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
