what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
