Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
