Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
