I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will be naked everywhere
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
