yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
