I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
