are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
