Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize