so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
