quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
