Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
