How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
