You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
