he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
