How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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