wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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