Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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