I must be too annoying 4 u.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
