Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
