dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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