I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
