I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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