I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize