i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize