Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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