I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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