I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
