You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I won the penis lottery.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
