i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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