You're my little dorito
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
