dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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