we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
