1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
