then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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