can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
