Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
