Please, let me fuck your mom
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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