Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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