I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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