Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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