Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
