So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My life is pants optional.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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