But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Randomize
