you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
