No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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