Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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